Thursday, September 30, 2010

Paraprosdokian sentences

A co-worker sent the following email today --
A paraprosdokian (from Greek "παρα-", meaning "beyond" and "προσδοκία", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect..

 1.   Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 
 2.   Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 
 3.   Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 
 4.   The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 
       It took me a second to get this one. I forgot about the mouse trap.
 5.   To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 
 6.   A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station. 
 7.   Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR." 
 8.   You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
 9.   When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
10.  The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! 
11.  Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. 
12.  I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. 
13.  Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the  pool and throw them fish.

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